When you love someone and it goes to waste. Could it be worse?
this all makes a lot of fucking sense you never really liked me huh what else have you felt obligated to do
I think what made it all so much worse
Was that it wasn’t like you were suddenly holding a gun to my head
In the midst of a perfect paradise we had.
You didn’t just suddenly pull a trigger
When everything was ‘fine’.
Because we were never a ‘fine’
According to you and what you put out there?
We never fucking existed.
But you kept your arms around me.
And whatever we were
We were already a little bent
But not entirely broken.
Because you had your arms around me
Cooing and promising we’d be okay
And you had that dagger
Positioned right at my spine.
The most dangerous breaking point.
And you loved me and loved me
And while I attempted to bask in that love
I felt that dagger there
I felt it slowly breaking skin
But I thought
“You wouldn’t do that
You wouldn’t kill me like that.”
I just happened to get a look at your hands
Those hands that held me up
I was given full view of what was held in those hands
And it was all so startling
Because then that dagger came stabbing in.
There was the realization that
You were doing this to me.
So I collapsed.
My world caved in.
And I was left shattered.
I suppose I’ve broken on my own enough times to be too fragile for another ‘broken’.
You left me shattered.
And you tried to swiftly pick up my pieces and explain why it was there in the first place
Because you do that.
You talk yourself into a more likable position.
I didn’t stick around to find out this time though.
I crawled away
Bloody and shattered and scared and wishing I hadn’t seen anything.
Wishing I hadn’t read those words
And that they weren’t flashing in my eyelids like a nightmare’s worst moment
Or that I didn’t see her in ecstasy while you eagerly went in for more before realizing what I’d seen.
Wishing that this was a joke.
Wishing that there was some logical explanation for it.
“Because you wouldn’t do that
You wouldn’t kill me like that”
But it was all pretty fucking clear what had happened.
It all made sense
Whether I wanted it to or not.
And I was stupid and ignored it for a long time
So maybe I had it coming.
I didn’t want it to make sense.
But it did and I was left to writhe in a
Because I knew it was there
And even though I did
“You weren’t supposed to do that to me
You weren’t supposed to kill me like that.
But no other way would have been easier,
|—||don’t talk to me I’m crying (via thegreenjellyfishie )|
ARE THE CRYSTAL EGGS
Look at these.
And the battery percentages.
I TIMED IT ALL SO IT WOULD BE RIGHT.
I SET THREE TIMERS BEFOREHAND.
I MADE SURE TO SET HOW MUCH BATTERY TO USE THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
I MADE SURE IT WAS AT 70% AT 4:18.
THE SECOND IT TURNED 4:20 AN IT HADN’T CHANGE YET, I SET THE BRIGHTNESS AT ITS HIGHEST AND OPENED ALL APPS TO KILL BATTERY.
BUT IT WOULDN’T CHANGE TILL FUCKING 4:21.
AND TO ADD TO THAT MY FRIEND’S MOM?
SHE GOT IT BY CHANCE.
THERE IS NO GOD